Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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