(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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