Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize