Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I FOUND THE LEGS
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
