take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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