Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
