i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
