yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
