I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
