I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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