OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
What a dumb baby whore.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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