You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
