Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Randomize
