I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
