Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
