Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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