i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
