I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You were trust falling into bushes
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
