Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
