those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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