Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
we're so committed to being not committed
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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