I need help removing her.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
