batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize