I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
