Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
