That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
