Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
