Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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