I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Randomize
