He asked to "fluff my boner.."
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
