oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
