You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
