Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
