Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
