that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
