You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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