dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
