I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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