So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
