I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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