I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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