girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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