You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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