Why are handjobs necessary in class?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
