i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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