Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
