Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
