You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
