Life is so much better after having sex.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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