mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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