Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
